Raj pointed me to this face analyzer website. You upload a headshot and a sophisticated algorithm determines your intelligence, risk, ambition, gay factor, honor, politeness, income, sociability, and promiscuity. I would take this website more seriously if it didn't consider Sponge Bob to be more intelligent and honorable than yours truly. Bastards. More devastating, the algorithm determined that I was 78% Eastern European and 22% European. Please. Look at the slanty eyes.
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