Winter Olympics?

I'm convinced that the Winter Olympics are just a collection of contrived sports contested among privileged Scandinavians and Americans.

You Can't Make This Up

Dick Cheney shot a friend. Imagine what he'd do to you.

Confused

Chinese Professor: (In Mandarin) Are you a Texan?
Me: (In Spanish) No, but I got here as fast as I could.

Oops.

Another Potential Income Source Eliminated

According to a local news broadcast, only 3% of men who apply to be sperm donors are accepted. There goes another backup job.

Chinese is Hard

After the first week, I've concluded that learning Mandarin is difficult. New sounds, 4 tones, and completely alien writing. Did I mention that the professor assigns 10-15 hours of homework per week? But when I'm able to eavesdrop on native conversations in Chinatown, it will all be worth the effort.

Clear Vision

This morning, I bid adieu to my glasses and contact lens paraphernalia. Dr. Shannon Wong at Austin Eye Clinic performed Custom-Cornea Wavefront-guided IntraLASIK surgery on me. The technology derives from the Star Wars program. Following a 3 hour nap, I woke up with some dryness, but otherwise felt spectacular. I'm sure the Valium helped.

I'm not going to miss my contact lenses refusing to take their place in the morning. Nor am I am going to miss them getting lodged or tearing at the most inopportune moments during a softball game. Finally, I'm not going to miss lugging around this gear.

Listen to Your Elders

On MLK Day, Shaq, prompted by the great Bill Russell, made amends with Kobe Bryant. Although the rivalry was good for the NBA, it was overblown. However, the idea of peace in the NBA arriving on MLK Day makes for a great story.

11 seconds

In my prime, it would take me 90 seconds. But the world record is now 11 seconds. Just incredible. I'm talking about solving the 3x3x3 Rubik's Cube, of course. What the hell were you thinking?

Student Again

On January 17, I will return to the classroom by taking a UT Extension Course. In my attempt to learn Mandarin, I've registered for Chinese I. After all, 800 million people can't be wrong.

RIP, Grandpa

On Christmas Eve, my family and I celebrated the life of my mom's father, Hat Ly. At the age of 96, grandpa accomplished more in his lifetime than I can even imagine for myself. He leaves behind 6 children, 11 grandchildren, and (so far) 3 great-grandchildren.

It's been devastating for me to witness the decline of his health in the past few years. I remember the strong and proud partriarch, who in his eighties, had the vitality of a man half his age. I remember the man who cared for me during the Khmer Rouge's reign. I remember the man who served as my surrogate father during my formative years. I remember the man who valued family above all else.

With all the stories and advice he tried to impart in me throughout my 30 years, 2 stick in my mind:

• Spend less than you earn.
• Marry a pretty girl.

Great advice, grandpa. Thanks for everything.