Sleep, Where Are You?

So many things to do, so little time.  Life was easier as a slacker.  I need sleep.

Checks Written

My condo offer was accepted. The checks have been written. The financing has been arranged. The only thing that can derail my move now is a bad inspection.

Winter Olympics?

I'm convinced that the Winter Olympics are just a collection of contrived sports contested among privileged Scandinavians and Americans.

You Can't Make This Up

Dick Cheney shot a friend. Imagine what he'd do to you.

Confused

Chinese Professor: (In Mandarin) Are you a Texan?
Me: (In Spanish) No, but I got here as fast as I could.

Oops.

Another Potential Income Source Eliminated

According to a local news broadcast, only 3% of men who apply to be sperm donors are accepted. There goes another backup job.